christmas illustration

Here's my final illustration assignment!

when God speaks

I haven't posted in a while....no excuses....so I'm moving on. :)

So the other day Blake and I were driving back to San Antonio and of course I was bored and needed something to fill my time. So what did I do? I started out asking Blake questions! :) At first it was things like what's your favorite color? favorite song? favorite movie? All things that I knew after almost 6 years of dating. Then I started to ask deeper more meaningful questions like what's your testimony? how is God a part of your life? Things that I knew, but always love to hear again.

Finally I got into questions that I didn't already know the answer to. One question and response that has stuck in my head over the last few weeks since the conversation was.....have you ever heard or experienced God talking to you? Not necessarily audible, but an obvious time where for a moment God opens our human eyes more than what is normal and reveals something about Him to us. Blake being the intelligent person that he is of course gave me an answer that I would have never expected or thought of.

He told me about a book by C.S. Lewis (I think probably Surprised by Joy) in which he talked about the difference between joy and happiness. He said that joy is in those moments when God allows our human eyes to see beyond what we usually can see or understand into the heavenly realm. For a moment we understand God a little more and cannot explain or sometimes even completely understand what we've seen, but we are forever changed. It is these moments when we experience joy. Lewis explains that there is a difference between joy and happiness. While happiness is based on our human emotions and our human existence, joy is based on our relationship with our God and his great love and mercy.

It makes me think of all times that I've heard that following Christ is not always easy and is not always full of happiness. By the grace of God I have lived a blessed life. I could never imagine how those Christians in the world that have hard lives because of their faith could go on. But what I've come to realize is that though their lives are not filled with happiness.....their lives ARE filled with joy. Something so much better that goes beyond our physical life and touches the eternal.

So today open your eyes, prepare your hearts and experience joy. I guess that's why that favorite Christmas song proclaims Christ's birth as our "Joy to the World".

thinking

It's been quite a while since I have posted on here. My life has been some what boring as of lately. Which I am not complaining because boring can be good. That generally means very little stress and not a whole lot to do. I have stayed busy, but not over the top busy like last school year. It's been pretty nice so far! Good start to my senior year.

So I woke up this morning with lots of thoughts going through my mind. You know how there are some mornings you wake up and your mind is blank. You can hardly think about anything and honestly you just think about rolling over and going back to sleep. Well that was not this morning. First I was thinking about some friends who I actually dreamed about. I don't remember what the dream was about, but I do remember they were in it. Of course as I always do when I think about someone intently that I don't always think about I began praying for them.

I continued to think. I thought about the money I have in my bank account (or the lack thereof!), I thought about Blake and his upcoming LSAT (prayed about that for a few minutes as well), I thought about my sweet little sister in China (more prayers), I thought about church this morning and what the message would be about. I thought about my family and when I'd be able to see them again. I thought about my cousins and how if I were still living with them I'd probably hear them playing at the moment (and actually that was unusual because I've been gone for over a month now and hadn't thought about that in a while!).

Anyways...I thought about other small and unimportant things as well. The list could go on and on. Basically the point I am trying to get at is......isn't it unusual when you stop and really think about the things you are thinking about?! I mean we live in a world with billions of people and right out side my window life is happening. Plants are growing, people are living and life moves on. But for about 20-30 minutes I am thinking and living inside my own head by myself, all alone. The Bible says that our sins go beyond our actions and the words that we say, but also the things that we think are sins if they are ungodly. God was a smart one when He made that point. :)

I leave you with this verse:

Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

portion yet again

About a month ago now I wrote a post about the word "portion" and how God is our very portion in the moment that we need Him to be. I added lyrics of an amazing song called "Healer" that says in it's chorus:

I believe you're my healer.
I believe you are all I need.
I believe you're my portion

I later found out that there was a story that went along with that song. The man who wrote it, who's name is Mike Guglielmucci, told the world that he wrote that song after finding out he was dying of cancer. For the last two years he has battled the disease spread his story worldwide. It has touched many people and drawn many to Christ. Even I was moved by the song and became overwhelmed each time I heard it played at church. About a week ago Mike Guglielmucci came out and told everyone that it was all a lie. He was not sick and dying from cancer. As expected the Christian community was devastated. There have been some hard hits in the past few years on the church, but nothing have I ever experienced or seen like this.

At first when I heard I had a mixture of feelings. I was angry, I was sad, I was overcome. It didn't impact me in a way that it did some, but it hurt non the less. I have thought about it a lot over the last few days. Now I have reached a point where I am so very sorry for Mike. What he did was wrong. He has hurt a lot of people. He deceived not only the church, but his own family. I have read stories of Christians who are angry. They remind me so much of the Pharisees during Jesus' time. Those "holy" men who were supposedly the leaders of the Jewish community and represented the Law. They stand back and judge Mike. Without even realizing it they say that they are better than him. They are more "holy" than him because they have not sinned like he has.

Again and again in this situation I am reminded of the story in John 8. The Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultry before Jesus. They tested Jesus and said according to the law she should be stoned to death. They wanted to know what Jesus thought. I have always been amazed at Jesus response. He said,

"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

One by one the men dropped their stones and walked away for none were without sin. Mike needs the church at this time as he never has before. A blog I read recently talked about the popularity of the song. The writer questioned whether we were ever worshipping God or were we simply worshipping the song and it's writer. This entire situation has definitely caused me to re-evaluate my worship to God.

By God's plan we sang "Healer" in church this last Sunday. As we sang the words I could not help but cry out to God in prayer to be not only the church's healer at this time, but also Mr. Guglielmucci's. For at no greater time does Mike need God as his healer, possibly even more than he ever would have needed him to be if he did have cancer. So I rise up and sing:

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in you
I trust in you

I believe
You're my healer
I believe
You are all i need
I believe
You're my portion
I believe
You're more than enough for me
Jesus, you're all i need

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for you
You hold my world in your hands

superhero party

Words need not explain....

first steps

So I don't usually blog about the piece of art that I've chosen for my "Art of the Week", but I just had to talk about this one. This painting is one of my favorites of Van Gogh's. I first saw this painting in a big book full of all his work that I got for Christmas years ago. When I saw it I just absolutely fell in love. I have always loved his art and his depiction of common people doing every day chores. But this one truly tugged at my heart strings.

I think that one of the most precious scenes in the whole world is the sight of a child taking their first steps. In this painting not only is it the precious scene of taking first steps, but the child is taking her first steps into her father's open arms. I hadn't looked at this painting in years, but I felt like God placed it on my heart again this morning. I was thinking about the adoption and all of our plans for our sweet Karleigh Mei. I then went and read my mom's blog and was touched yet again by the entire story. I've heard it multiple times, but it never ceases to amaze me.

In many ways our adoption has been like this painting. My family took our first steps of the adoption into our heavenly father's arms. We trusted that he would catch us if we were to fall and carry us if we couldn't walk anymore. And being the incredible and faithful God that He is, He did! Now here we are with just her picture and a small description of who she is and I feel like we are taking our first steps into God's arms yet again. Though we've taken many first steps before, these first steps are different than any others we've ever walked before. I feel like at times the distance between our area of comfort and God's arms gets longer and wider. But then I am reminded that this is where our faith comes in and we must trust that God would not beckon us to move and walk to Him if he didn't think we could make it.

When the time finally comes to go to China and pick up our baby girl this picture will be painted yet again. Same scene, fresh paint and canvas. This new scene though will be a little different. While on the sending end the picture will be of a Chinese nurse who has taken care of sweet Karleigh Mei for us all these years, the receiving end will be my parent's open arms ready to catch her if she were to fall and encouraging her that she can take those first steps into our lives. And lastly the child painted there will not be a poor peasant like Van Gogh painted, but a daughter of the King that is taking her first steps into the life God has always intended her to have.

sacred ruins

I found this poem while cleaning out my room that I wrote in Oxford after visiting several ruins of old abbeys. Thought I'd share...

Sacred ruins of years gone by
lay in such a heap.
Through wind and rain you've stood aground,
worn by traveler's feet.

Your colors faded dull with age,
against the grass so green.
Yet piercing the sky with your height
lay shadows upon me.

I walk your floors that once held men
of times so long ago.
In their steps I trace your life
and stories I'll never know.

my very portion

This past weekend at church I noticed that a lot of the worship songs that we sang said something about the Lord being my portion. I guess I had always just heard this word "portion" used and never really thought about the meaning of it. We sang a song from Hillsong called "Made Me Glad" that says in it's chorus:

You are my shield
My strength my portion
Deliverer....

And then in another song that we sang called "Healer" the chorus says:

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are All I Need
I believe You're my Portion...

In both songs it talks of Lord not only being our strength, our healer, our shield and our portion. I have to admit I was slightly confused. If I learned anything from vocab in middle school I specifically remember that portion meant a part of whole. And that seemed like a strange term to be labeling our Lord. I mean when I think about the Lord being a part of my life I always think of Him as a part of my whole life not just a portion. And when I think of wanting the Lord to fill me I want him to fill all of me not just a portion.

So what did I do? I turned to the Bible. Because I knew that whoever wrote these worship songs must know what they are talking about and wouldn't have just lightly called the Lord their portion. I had a hard time finding portion used in the Bible in any other sense then talking about a part of the whole. It talked often of the sacrifices offered up to God and that they would offer a portion of the best lamb or goat. I finally found a few verse that used it in a different way. In Psalms 73:26 it says,

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Again just as it was used in the songs. And in Psalm 119:57 it says,"

"You are my portion, O LORD; I have promised to obey your words."

Now that is in the NIV translation so I decided to look at it in The Message translation and it says:

"Because you have satisfied me, God, I promise to everything you say."

So I got to thinking maybe this portion they talk about is not saying a part of the whole, but that when the Lord acts as our portion he is, for lack of better words, just enough for me where I'm at and who I am. That at different points of my life I might need more or less, but he is always the portion that I need. Also when he is God to others he is "just the right" portion for them. It's almost like the story of Goldilocks. Papa Bear's portion was too hot, Mama Bear's was too cold, but Baby Bear's was just right. If Goldilocks had come the next day or even the day before she might have needed another portion, but that very day at that very time that was the portion she needed.

In this same way yesterday I might have needed a certain portion and even tomorrow I might need another portion, but today the Lord IS the very portion that I need. It is a good feeling knowing that though the portion I might need might change, God is an omnipresent and omniscient God so that no matter how much I change, He never will and because of that he will always be my portion.

So I pray:

Today, O Lord, be my portion.
Surround me and be what I need this very day,
this very hour, this very moment.
I trust in you alone and am content
in knowing that you will always be
my very portion.

new purse

I just have to share because I am soooooo excited. I ordered a new purse from Target that I have really really wanted for a while now and it is a limited edition so Target stores ran out quickly and I missed my chance to get one. So I went on line and found out they were 50% off online so I ordered one!! woo hoo! I am so excited for it to get here.



I was checking the package tracker this morning and it left Minnasota at 9:30am today! Does anyone know how long it takes to get here from Minnasota?!?!!!!!

peacock praise

So I've always been in love with peacocks. I just think that their colors are so incredibly beautiful. Basically my favorite colors are all the colors of a peacock feather: teal blue, green, chocolate brown, chartreuse, etc. The other day a girl asked me what my favorite color was and I just responded without even thinking, "Peacock". But to simply say it without a long explanation, that is my favorite color! :)

Walker came into my office the other day and noticed that I had a picture of a peacock feather as the background on my computer. He said, "Wow isn't that amazing! It's crazy that God created so complex a beauty on so simple a thing for our enjoyment." (or something along those lines!) It really is true. I have thought about that often, but never really put it into words like he did. I have become so "in love" with peacocks and their beauty, but what I have really become "in love" with is the amazing love of God that he would create that for me to enjoy. If I could thank Him for it I would just have to say as my Mom always says about things, "It makes me so happy inside." :)

To me a peacock feather is an outpouring of God's love for me to erupt in me an outpouring of praise to Him. And because of that I can't help, but praise him! I guess that's why I want to include peacock feathers and that color scheme in my wedding one day because to me it will represent a part of God's love for me. Lately I have realized more and more that though a wedding is for us on earth it truly is a form of worship and commitment to God above. And I want my wedding to represent that in every way. I want my wedding to be a reflection of God's love and glory.

So the next time you see a peacock feather praise God for His amazing love and beautiful handiwork made just for you!

consuming the world

There are those things in life that I stress over it would seem like constantly....money, work, school, what my future looks like, etc. I put so much effort and energy into just simply thinking about those things. Why? Why do I even waste my time? Yesterday morning I discovered that I had overdrafted my bank account by about $0.60. That's all, but more than likely I will still have to pay fees. I was trying to make sure and deposit money as quick as possible so I looked in my wallet and only had $30 cash. ugh! I had to break down and ask my Dad for some money. Something I hate to do, but that's the "stage of my life I am in" as my mom told me once. I'm a poor beggar...

I've had a lot of questions lately about what I plan to do when I graduate. It hit me just the other day that I only have 1 year left of college and then I am truly in the real world. Fear seized every fiber of my being. I am ready, but I'm not. I'm brave, but I'm afraid. I look strong, but I'm weaker than I've ever been. I'm a fearful child....

I got a call yesterday morning and found out that a family friend passed away in a motorcyle accident. He's a husband and father of 4 small boys. He was young and had much life to live still. Harsh reality hit me yet again. It always seems to creep up on me like that and catch me when I'm least expecting it. I'm but a single life on this earth...

It seems that in many moments in my life I am reminded of that old hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness". My Mom just blogged about it last week. I can't help but find comfort in those simple words:

"Great is thy faithfulness, O God my father.
There is no shadow of turning with thee.
Thou changest not, they compassions, they fail not;
As thou hast been, thou forever wilt be."

It is in these moments when I am reminded yet again of his amazing faithfulness that I realize that I am no poor beggar, nor a fearful child and to God I am not just a single life on this earth. I AM a daughter of the king, a brave follower of Christ and I am a life that is here to praise God daily and spread His glory. I no longer want to live in fear and stress and no longer want to just take up space and breathe air. I want to consume the world with the love of Christ and drench the air with his glorious wonders. No longer can I dwell on the things of this earth, because I can't help but long for the treasures of eternity.

So I will sing...Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness, GREAT is thy faithfulness...O God my father.

new realm of worship

I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been so busy recently with work. I am now working at Gateway Church in the worship department for my uncle and am really enjoying it. It's been a really different and interesting experience because I have never been involved in the worship department of any church. It opens my eyes to both the positives and negatives and thankfully there are way more positives! :)

At times I feel like an outsider looking in....not in the sense that I am not being included, but just that my talents and abilities are very different that what everyone else is gifted in, in this office. I am so use to being in college working constantly with the people in my major, so we all can relate with one another and are interested in the same things. Here I can hardly relate because usually I have no idea what they are talking about! haha!

But one of the coolest things about this job that I was just telling one of the pastors here the other day is that I feel like I am being paid to learn more about God and to grow in my spiritual life. I am learning so much about worship and how that affects and builds my relationship with God. It's just so cool and so enjoyable.

Anyways...that's all for now. Post more later!

my life at the beach

I am now living with my Aunt and Uncle because I will be working at a church this summer near their house that my Uncle also works at. I will be doing media related stuff and work for the worship team specifically. I will post more after I have started and have more to tell about that. BUT what I am writing about now is my life here in this home with my three cousins: Noah who is 4 and Grayson and Dawson who are almost 2. It's been loads of fun already! :)

There are some things that happen in my daily routine now that don't usually happen. For instance when I am getting ready in the morning I have a little helper....sometimes two! But on this particular morning I only had one:

That is Dawson and he is very fond of the hair dryer and likes to brush and blow dry his hair while I am doing mine.









Currently I am also listening to Barney going on in the other room. My day revolves around rah rah (raisin bread) in the morning, caaaahhhh (car) when we are playing and da da (anything and everything you want it to be) when we are doing just about anything else! I was working on stuff for my Etsy Shop yesterday (which you should check out at www.abeauideal.etsy.com) and I had a 4 year old helping me with everything!

Anyways....I will post more when I have more time!

family beach photo

the good, the bad and the very ugly

When you are cleaning things out....and packing up in my case....you find many things, both good and bad. I was very happy to find both pairs of my sunglasses that I thought I had lost. They were both under my bed, more than likely stolen by the ol' under-the-bed and eat-all-your-stuff monster. So I was pretty excited about that. Now like I said you also find things that are bad and more often than not those bad things are found in your refrigerator. The dreaded task of cleaning out that beastly monster. Warning to all reading: I grow more things in my refrigerator than my grandma grows in her garden.

So I finally decided to attack that foul beast and just get it over with. I figured tonight would be better than tomorrow morning. But now I realize it was a bad idea because I am will probably have nightmares from what I found. It was all going well. Nothing too bad. Some fuzz on my strawberries. Some icky, who knows what dried to the bottom of my sour cream. Even some rank smelling yogurt. All of these things I can stomach. What I found that was probably the most disturbing thing I have ever seen was in the most unexpected place.....the bottom of our Brita filter. Now mind you we haven't used that filter in months, which is probably why this growth was there. It had a little water in it that had sat for months and the filter was just long enough to sit in the water.

There are 4 little circle filter thingys. Three of them had some definite spotty mold growing on them. Or possibly mildew. Which is gross in itself, but I could handle that compared to what was on the fourth. It was a jelly like slime that covered the filter and was oozy. Sick! It gives me chills just thinking about it.

It scared me so bad that I decided to take a picture to share it with all of you! :)



Gross, huh? Anyways....I hope it's ok with you Whitney, but I threw the entire thing away. I am willing to just invest in an entirely new one....or maybe just NEVER AGAIN!

rachel and grady.....zoey too!

These are some photos I took of a friend of mine for her engagement! We had a lot of fun and some interesting experiences while taking them! :)

growing up

So you know when you have those times in your life that you are so busy and you are going and going and going and going, hardly have time to slow down and see the world around you. You actually end up running so quickly through life that it seems you lap the rotation of the earth. When all of a sudden.......you stop! And you look around and life just seems so peaceful around you. Birds are still chirping like they always use to, the wind is still a simple breeze across your skin like it always was, the new spring leaves have come in as usual. But you have changed. You don't know how, or why....but you have. The world doesn't seem the same and yet it is. All those things that you remember are still continuing on in their path and in their ways, but something has changed. It is you. Not for the bad necessarily, just changed.

Maybe you've grown a little taller, but that doesn't seem possible when you haven't grown an inch since the sixth grade. Maybe the world has gotten a little shorter, but no, that is not possible either. Has the moon shown it's dark side? Has the sun begun rising in the west? Has the grass gone blue and sky gone green? Has everything you've ever known changed? Or simply, have you just grown?

Not in stature or beauty or strength or knowledge or even in talents. You've grown in familiarity of Christ's grace. You've grown in the understanding of His love. But most of all you've grown in the desire of His overwhelming peace and comfort. And you've come to realize that though this world is your home it is not your resting place. And though you cannot have grown taller or the world have gotten shorter, you have become just that much closer to heaven and the eternity we now live for.

caspian and crowder....character of a theologian and a character who is a theologian

So yesterday evening Blake, I and a few friends went to see Prince Caspian, the next Chronicles of Narnia movie. I have to say it was a very, very good movie. Even better than the first one, in my opinion. I am going to try and not give any spoilers in this post, but I just have to tell this really cool Bible verse that I came across right after I saw the movie and how it relates.

Ok, so I have also been reading the book by David Crowder called Praise Habit: Finding God in Sunsets and Sushi. It's a great book. He looks at like 20 of the Psalms and how they relate praise in different ways. So in the movie last night there is a point when the four kids (Peter, Susan, Lucy and Edmund), who were once kings and queens in Narnia, are back in Narnia and find themselves in a situation that is obvious that they will have to go to war. The Narnians against a new race the Telmarines who have invaded the land. At this point in the movie we have still not seen the mighty Aslan, who quite clearly is the representation of Christ in the story. The girls beg Peter to wait for Aslan before going to fight. Peter, however, has lost hope in Aslan and says that he is tired of waiting for him.

During this scene I couldn't help, but think about how we too do this in our own lives with Christ. We lack faith in the fact that Christ is always there by our sides. Many times we simply choose not to see Him because of our lack of faith. When I came home from the movie I read a chapter in the book before going to bed. To my surprise the Psalms of that chapter was perfect to the scene I just described in the movie. It is Psalm 74 and says in The Message:

"You walked off and left us, and never looked back.
God, how could you do that?
We're you very own sheep;
how can you stomp off in anger?

Refresh your memory of us--you bought us a long time ago.
Your most precious tribe-- you paid a good price for us!
Your very own Mount Zion-- you actually lived here once...

While your people were at worship, your enemies barged in,
brawling and scrawling graffiti.
They set fire to the porch...
They burned your holy place to the ground,
violated the place of worship...

Why don't you do something? How long are you going
to sit there with your hands folded in your lap..."

In the movie Narnia had been taken over by the Telmarines long before the children had returned. Like this Psalm all of the Narnians were angry that Aslan had not returned to help. The Telmarines had destroyed Aslan's beautiful world. I will not describe anymore of the movie so as not to give any more plot away. But I can not help but see the true evidence of God's Word in C.S. Lewis' story. A story made into a movie that will be watched by thousands, if not millions, of people around the world. Who will go purely for entertainment, but will be witnessing an allegory of the very Word of God.

beau ideal

I was helping my friend Jennifer last night make her own blog and was trying to think of good names for her blog. I love to use good ol' thesaurus.com when I am trying to think of catchy names. At one point I was looking for a synonym for "mirror". When using the word mirror like the word model they gave the definition: one that is worthy of imitation or duplication. I thought that this definition of mirror was perfect for how Christ is in our lives. We should yearn to be a duplication and an exact imitation of him in our own lives for only He is worthy!

One of the words they gave as a synonym was "beau ideal". I had never heard that term before so I thought I'd click on it to see the exact definition of that word. It said: a conception of perfect beauty; a model of excellence. I couldn't help but get excited over this word. It IS what Christ is in our own lives. He is our beau ideal.

We hear the word "beau" used often as a person that a girl is dating or in love with. In a way Christ is my beau. I am completely in love with Him and want so badly to spend my time with him. In old movies you see girls so anxious about hanging out with their beau's. They want so badly to be near them all the time. I too am anxious to be near my beau. But not just my beau, but my beau ideal.

Funny how words can take on a new meaning when you truly examine them. I decided to see if the blog name "a beau ideal" was avaliable and it was! So I went ahead and grabbed it and created the blog. Not sure what I will use that blog for, but I am sure in the future a need will arise. Maybe a wedding planning blog?! :)

cooking therapy

I have the next few days off before I have to go to class again. I am looking forward to a few days off just hanging out in Abilene....doing nothing! It's been a long time since I have had days like that. I watched the finale of the Office tonight which was hilarious. Probably one of the funniest I have seen yet. I also watched the new Lost episode. That show is such a huge contrast to the Office! :)

Today was a slightly lazy day. Went to class, worked on photos, made cupcakes and apple bread (for a friends b-day and the latter for Blake, per request). I love baking so much. It's so relaxing and just seems like one of those things in life that I can do without stress and everything usually turns out pretty good. I guess that's why it is so devastating when something doesn't turn out well while cooking. It's like that normally perfect part of life shatters. Guess it brings me back to the reality of humanity. Also, when I cut my finger or burn myself. I definitely snap out of it and come back to reality then.

I also have discovered that I really really love cooking for other people. I could never understand when people (like my grandma, mimi, mom, etc.) would say that in the past. But now I understand. I only wish I knew how to cook really fancy and exquisite meals. Guess that's why I like watching the cooking channel and Martha Steward who make it look "soooo easy"!

photo editing

very cool link to awesome photo editing package ...

also....cool place to make affordable photo books...

One last thing....really cute camera bags that are great for when you are shooting!

wishing on weddings

So I've had a lot of time on my hands lately because I am only taking one class. Let's just say it's been pretty swell. Because of this I have been thinking a lot about weddings. Now I am NOT saying that I am engaged...this is a disclaimer to all you women out there who may have jumped the gun (Mom, Lexie, Sarah....). I just have seen a lot of pictures from recent weddings of my friends here lately so it has gotten my thinking about my own future wedding. So out of curiousity the other day I searched for weddings gowns.

I found out that like Vera Wang. Period. The dresses are unique and beautiful. Probably expensive, but beautiful none-the-less.

Here are a few favorites:




Anyways...I know that is totally random, but thought I'd share, because I haven't had anyone to show. I also really like this girl's dress....

And on top of that I really like the photographer who took that girls pics. I was actually introduced to his blog by my aunt who had attended a wedding that he shot. He's pretty pricey, but does an amazing job! AND...he's based in Dallas, which is always great. So I know this has no reason really, but thought I'd share! :)

stale gum and madness

My first day of class for Maymester was today. It seems like this class is going to be pretty easy. I am glad to get it out of the way. I am getting so much closer to graduating! It's hard to believe.

I don't have too much to write about right now, but I am board and want to write. I am chewing a piece of gum that has lost it's flavor. It's one of those cheapy gums that are in really small pieces and you have to eat a billion of them just to get a substantial piece. It comes in a container shaped like Santa Clause...so that should be a good indication of the quality. :)

Other news...I worked on photo stuff for the yearbook for about 3 hours today and still am not close to being finished...oh joy! I have never been more ready to leave good ol' Abilene. Driving back from my grandparents house the other day was hard, because I really didn't want to come back here. I was ready to be done.

I will hopefully come up with more content and wiser words soon. Not much exciting has been happening in my life...obviously.

pottery painting extravaganza

If you want to look at some photos of our pottery painting, go here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2056176&l=f240b&id=54602983

garlic hands

My hands smell like garlic. I know that's random, but it's beginning to drive me crazy. I mean I love garlic....that's why my hands smell like it in the first place. I bought fresh garlic yesterday and had to beat out the cloves and what-not to peel them. So now my hands smell like garlic.

Anyways...I don't have too much new to write about. I am just waiting for photos to upload on the computer and so I was bored and thought I would write a post. My fruit/veggie diet is going pretty good. I had a strawberry, banana and orange juice smoothie this morning. I notice that I actually eat a lot less food on this diet also. I put one banana, 6 strawberries and 1 cup of oj in my smoothie and it filled me up. It will be interesting to see how much, if any, weight I lose because of this diet. Now disclaimer to all who are reading this....I am not trying to lose weight. That is NOT the purpose of this diet. It is simply to clean out my body of all the yucky toxins and junk inside. And the end result of hopefully developing a healthier diet for the long run.

In other news....I am going on a double date this afternoon with my boyfriends roommate and his girl friend. We are going to a paint your own pottery place! So that should be fun! I will post some pics from the event later.

That's it for now.

ratatouille please

So I am now on an all veggie and fruit "detox diet". A friend of mine had been tell me about how she does these diets with her mom every couple of months and that it always makes her feel sooo good. It basically just cleans out your body of everything yucky in it. Today is only day one and I am feeling alright. She said the first few days are the hardest. It's going pretty good so far though. I went to the grocery store and bought more fruits and veggies than I ever have in my life! :)

For dinner I found a recipe for ratatouille on the internet! I had been thinking about recipes that I could make that only had fruits or veggies in them and I remember thinking that I thought that dish was only vegetables. After further investigation I discovered that it WAS only veggies! So I made it. It has zucchini, squash, egg plant, red and green bell peppers, onions, fresh garlic and tomatoes. Surprisingly it was very very yummy! It took FOREVER to make though, but was well worth it.

So be praying for me that I make it through the next week and don't break my will! :)

korean cuisine

How do you all like my blog? My Mom made it pretty for me! :)

It's finals weeks finally! I am lucky enough to only have 2 finals this semester and they are both on Friday. So I have some time this week to get done with everything else that needs to be finished up. I still have quite a bit of work to look forward to on the yearbook...ugh.

Last night we had an end of the semester staff party. It was a Korean BBQ. A guy on staff's mom is Korean so he is very knowledgeable in Korean cuisine. We all sat around low tables in a girl's living room and we had little grills in the middle of the table that we cooked strips of beef on. Then we dipped the beef into sesame seed oil and wrapped it in a lettuce leaf with rice. It was soooo yummy! It was also a lot of fun to sit around and fellowship with friends and try this new type of food together. We decided that we totally should have done that more often this semester, because it was such a stress reliever.

Today I am going with the staff out to a ranch for our end of the semester retreat. We are going to eat, play games and hang out. So that should be fun!

tom's shoes...

I finally got myself a pair of TOM's shoes yesterday!! Here they are:

venus or satellite?

Ok so another funny story I've been meaning to share. So Blake and I went to a Rush concert this past Friday. It was a lot of fun, but probably something that I don't need to experience again! :) I enjoyed more just seeing the joy on Blake's face annnnddd watching the crazy people around us. So for the funny story....

We had lawn seating and during the break in the middle of the concert we laid back on our picnic blanket and watched the stars. That's the great thing about "lawn" seating. So after a couple minutes of silence this dialogue began:

B- (pointing at a bright star) Hey, look! It's Venus!
K- Are you sure? How do you know?
B- It's really bright!
(a few minutes of staring at it and thinking he can't be right)
K- Blake, it's blinking.
B- Venus blinks.
K- Blake, it's moving....I think it's a space station.
B- Oh ok, well whatever.
(few more minutes of silence goes by)
B- (pointing at another bright star) Hey look! It's Venus!

About this time I truly realize he has no idea what he is talking about and is just calling every bright object in the sky Venus! Silly Blake! At least he is incredibly intelligent in a lot of other fields of study, just not Astronomy.

similar situations

You know when you feel like the only person in a situation that feels the way you do. I don't know if that last sentence made any sense, but if it did to you then the rest of this blog is for you.

So all year I have kinda felt like I was the only one on staff that really hated their job. Everyone else seemed to love it and be really in to it while I was in the corner hating it all and trying desperately to escape. Until....today. I was talking with another girl and we both realized that we have both hated it for a while. Actually...all year. So in a very odd way it was a HUGE relief.

While it doesn't give us back our year and our lives that we've spent in misery it, it did make looking back on it a little easier and a little less hostile. I realized that your junior year, whether you are in high school or college, is just not a good year. From what I remember about high school senior year is wonderful. So I'm praying that's how next year goes. Summer has become like a very bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Ok so enough of my complaining and blabbering. So I found out I have about $3 in my bank account today. But I get paid tomorrow which doesn't mean a whole lot because I don't get paid much anyways. It is, however, more than 3 big smack-a-roos. This has been the month of big expenses. I wonder at how I spent so much money, but when I look back I never really bought anything I quote "wanted" only things that I needed, like gas and food. You know, the daily essentials. First thing on my list to buy tomorrow....shampoo and soap. Woo-hoo!! What a joy!

Other than that, not a whole lot is going on in my life. So peace.

modeling results

Here's a picture of a drawing that a friend of mine did of Blake and I! I thought she did a great job! :)

yearning for brokenness

You know those days where you just want to pack up everything, stop life and go on a long vacation. Well today is one of those days. It's not been really a very long day, but I am just sick of my daily routine. It's about time to get a new one. Ever look towards the end of a long day or month or semester and you realize that is not really the end? There is still so much more to do. That's about what my semester is like. The never-ending semester.

Anyways....in other news...I went to an Oxford girls get together last night. It was so nice and refreshing just to sit and talk with strong Christian women about life and all that comes with it. We prayed over one another and encouraged one another. We were talking about a friend of one of the girls and all the trouble he is going through in his life. It was more than just the daily struggles. His fiancee, after cheating on him, is now trying to kill herself, he's addicted to drugs and it is getting to the point he doesn't really care to continue his own life. Pretty serious stuff.

At one point when the girl finished her story and it got real quiet and no one knew what to say because of the overwhelming reality of the situation, I heard my friend simply say, "What brokenness." What brokenness is truly present in the world we live in. But brokenness does not only reside in the lives of the unsaved, but the saved just the same.

Worldly brokenness I long to cast aside and brokenness for the love of Christ I yearn to portray.

life of a duck

Only one week left of the semester and I've never been happier. This has been one rough school year. I am just glad that it has an end.

So I have a funny story to tell that I've been meaning to tell for a while and haven't had time. I was sitting by Jacob's Dream, a statue on campus, waiting to take some pictures and a little girl came up eating an ice cream cone. She came and sat down near me. I looked up, but soon continued reading my book. After a few minutes she begins talking to me. She talks about everything from her ice cream to a butterfly flying by. Basically I couldn't get her to be quiet. :) All of a sudden she says the most random and hilarious thing. She says,

"I always wished I was a duck, because they can swim, walk on land AND fly!"

I thought about it and then realized that she is right and that I had never thought about that before! The things you can learn from kids. Seems like a duck is a pretty good animal to be! :)

Anyways...just a random story I thought I'd share.

becoming too comfortable

It's been a long time since I have posted anything. This past week was incredibly busy as will be this coming week. We only have 2 weeks of classes and a week of finals left for this school year. Everything is beginning to wind down and because of that everything gets that much busier. Funny how that works. It always seems that those last few weeks before school is out are so hard that they really make you ready for a break whether you were ready or not before!

Today my pastor gave a really great sermon that seemed to apply to my life as well as anyone else who is busy at this time. It was about being "trained in Godliness". He got it from the verse in I Timothy 4:7 that says,

"Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales: rather, train yourself to be godly."

Our pastor talked about what it meant to train. He said there must be effort, focus, discipline and pain. I especially liked the points he made on the 2 last words: discipline and pain. For discipline he said that is daily choosing the best in the midst of all the good that can be and that it is not when we choose the easy path, but the best path. So often I only see the easy path, because it's, well...easy. But this is not right. We should always aim to choose the best, because in the best is God's will.

For the point of pain he said that we live in a culture that teaches our greatest prize is convenience and comfort. This value, he said, is what is killing us. Pain is more about the idea of discomfort and inconvenience. We've begin to grow too comfortable and quit "training". He used the example of when a person goes to the gym. They can walk on a treadmill and lift weights, but until they push themselves and feel pain they are never going to fully train themselves. We can do all the right stuff like pray, go to church and read our Bible, but until we push ourselves we will never train.

One of his final points he made that I really like was this:

"The problem with mankind is not that we desire too much, but that we are satisfied with too little. God wants us to have it all."

reflection in the mirror

Can you tell who this is? :)

websites to check out

This is a quick post just to let people know about two very cool websites I have discovered recently from friends.

The first is www.threadless.com. It's a website where people can send in designs for t-shirts and if the company chooses your design they print it and sale them and you get a portion of the profits. It's really cool and there are some cool shirts for sale there.

The second is www.tomsshoes.com. This is a website that sales shoes and for every pair that you buy they in return send a pair to a child in Argentina. They are a little pricey, but it's because you are paying for two pairs. Thought it was a really cool idea.

Anyways...just had to share!

peace of God

There are some things in life that never cease to amaze me. While some people find themselves in the situation of a painful grief others find themselves in a situation of overwhelming joy. Finally, there are those who find themselves in a situation of what first seems like pain, but later has the potential for joy. It seems in my life, or in my "world" I see too often this similar story. While I don't take for granted the unbelievable blessings in my life I do wonder at the complexity of God's will for me. It never seems to turn where I think it will, nor does it ever continue in harmony when I think it's about time. It's much like a carnival ride.

Despite it all there is always an all-consuming peace that lingers among the ticking seconds of each event and moment. At one second I may be perfectly content and the next be sad for the unexpected grief of life, but always surrounded in the peace that passes all understanding. I praise God for these moments when it's not too hard to look back, not too hard to stand still and finally not to hard to move on. For move on we must.

While many do not understand or know of what I speak of for this day, you will know soon. Whether you choose to judge, choose to love or choose to simply go about your way, we all will feel the peace of God. For some it is a breeze against our skin others a roar of rushing wind, but it comes....it always comes.

surprisingly refreshing

I went to lunch with my friend Teal yesterday. She is person that is as beautiful inside and out as the color of her name. We went to Oxford together and we have diligently tried this school year to get together at least once a month for lunch. I love our conversations. They are always so good and encouraging. It's a time where we can both spill out everything going on in our lives and seek prayer for one another. It seems like I talk to people every day that are going through exactly what I am going through and that is nice. But sometimes it is nice to talk to someone who is not experiencing the same things and is excited to hear about my life. They also offer fresh ears and eyes for advice.

Teal and I talked yesterday about school, work, future plans, boyfriends (basically just Blake), summer jobs and lots of other stuff. We reflected on the past realizing that just a year ago from now we were in Oxford and traveling the world. I can't hide that we both were longing for old times. :)

We talked about the future, but did not let ourselves become overwhelmed with the unknown. We talked about the present, but did not let ourselves become stressed with things that needed to be done. And finally we talked about the past, but did not let ourselves become comfortable in old ways. There's too much to live for to be stuck in the past.

Towards the end of our conversation Teal and I were talking about the remainder of the semester. Both her and I are tired and ready for the end. We both have responsibilities in classes and jobs that we are ready to be done with. In our goodbyes and encouraging words Teal said something that caught my ear and pricked my heart. She said, "I will pray that the end of your semester is surprisingly refreshing." I realized then that the only way to allow myself to enjoy these last 4 weeks of my junior year is to choose to be surprisingly refreshed by the good things. Now that is a LOT easier said than done, but I will give it my all.

Life can by hard, but it always has the potential to be surprisingly refreshing.

famous in life and death

Charlton Heston passed away Saturday. It's interesting how people come and go in the movie industry, because they strive so hard throughout their life to be recognized and known. Once they die, if they're lucky enough, their death is recognized and then that is the end of that. Heston was 84 and seemed to have lived a pretty good life. I found out that he was closely connected with my university and had come here on several occasions to see our homecoming musicals. He also had given several scholarships for students.

In life we see people rise to fame and become one of the icons of our every day life. Eventually these pass away as well as the fans of them. This is the irony of fame when eventually we all die just the same.

This doesn't belittle the fact at all, however, that we should all strive to be the best that we can be in life. Whether we are a famous actor or simply clerk at a grocery store, we all should make each day's goal to be a pure reflection of the love of Christ. We should choose to have a good day every day. And most of all we should choose to live as if everyday is our last.

riding around in my automobile

Well it's back from the ol' journalism competition and I am exhausted!!! The competition the hanging out was not the tiring part, it was the drive that was so tiring. It was a little over 5 hour drive for us because we went up to Huntsville to visit some friends. I am super happy that we did though.

Good news is that our newspaper won quite a few awards combined, which is exciting because we were competing in Division 1 which includes big schools like UT, A&M and Baylor. The on-site competitions were in my opinion goofy and very staged. I felt like I couldn't truly show my talent and abilities.....but whatever. The best part of the whole trip was seeing old friends and hanging out with college buds.

The bad part of the trip, however, was the price of gas. It is so ridiculously high. I have nearly wiped out my bank account and it's only the beginning of the month....not good. If someone tried to rob my account now they'd probably just give the money back out of pity. :) It'd be nice of them to throw a little extra in while they're at it.

As you can see I don't have any words of wisdom for today. Just pooped out from the trip and glad to be "home". Maybe I will have more to say tomorrow...

there's some things in life money can't buy

Today I got a new Canon 40D camera. Well, I didn't exactly buy it myself, but our photography department bought one for the staff to have and I get to hold onto it for the next couple of days. I sure wish it was mine to keep because it didn't take too long for me to realize....I want one.

I mean I had known that I wanted one for a while, but it wasn't until I truly got to see it, experience it and visualize the results of its power that I realized I needed one. Well is it really need or maybe more like want.

It's funny how those kinds of things are in life. There are things that we have that we are perfectly content with. We don't know that there is the possibility of something that is better out there for us to obtain. We go through life with this "good" thing that we already own just fine, until that moment when we realize there is something better. From then on we are restless until we can obtain that new and better item.

It seems to be like this with Christianity. Before we are saved, many people are what they see as perfectly content with the life they lead. They believe that, that is the only way. So what they've got is good enough. It is not until that moment that they realize there's something much better that they've got to have. Fortunate for them, salvation is as easy as a confession, an acceptance and a belief not over $1000 of debt like a Canon 40D.

There's some things in life that we simply can't have at the snap of a finger or the swipe of a credit card, but praise God salvation is freely given to those who believe. Kinda sounds like the MasterCard commercial "There's some things in life money can't buy, for everything else there's MasterCard."

Of course a free donation of money to buy a Canon 40D is always readily accepted. :)

eavesdropping on grace

While sitting in my bed tonight reading my Bible, I couldn't help, but eavesdrop on a conversation going on right outside my bedroom window. At first I was just angry that someone was speaking so loud and interrupting my quiet time and soon to be interrupting my sleep. Then I begin to listen to what was being said. I had to just sort of smile at God's irony. I had just finished reading in Ephesians 2 when it says, "But because of his great love, for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved." The girl outside was talking on the phone to what sounded like a good friend of hers about God's grace and salvation. It's kind of a surreal feeling listening from the outside the gospel being told to someone that sounds so lost in his transgressions and lost in the world.

I had to praise God for the diligence of this girl to preach the gospel in love, though it might hurt her friendship with this person. After hearing the topic I just couldn't find it in myself to be mad. Guess it's a good thing my loud next door neighbor lives next to a girl that can't get mad at spreading the gospel at 11pm. :)

So the next time your neighbors are being loud, stop and eavesdrop on the conversation and if it's not about the gospel, then yell at them that they need Jesus. :)

unanswered prayers

Today at church my pastor talked about the topic of prayer. It wasn't your typical sermon about how you should pray unceasingly or even the sermon about how to ask God for things in prayer. It was a very interesting sermon because it was about the issue of what seems like "unanswered prayers". I had never heard a pastor talk about unanswered prayers the way my pastor did today.

He made three points about how God chooses to answer our prayers. They are:
IF the request is wrong, God says no.
IF the timing is wrong, God says slow.
IF we are wrong, God says grow.

So often I pray for something that is very important in my life and I expect an immediate and obvious answer. Many times I find myself only expecting an answer that is to my liking. When I should have the mindset and heart desire that the answer will only be God's will and not mine. I had never thought of my request being three possibilities as my pastor taught. I generally think of it as my request is wrong or I myself am wrong. Rarely do I think of the timing as wrong.

I enjoyed the sermon and it caused me to think. It seems that here lately have my so very many requests to God. While many are answered, many are still unanswered, but I rest assured in knowing that God is listening; however, he is answering in His timing, which is always the best. :)

energy, oil rigs and a long, long week

While last week was incredibly relaxing, this week was as far from that as you can possibly get. Tomorrow we are publishing a huge project we have been working on all semester on energy. This week leading up to it has been incredibly stressful because on Monday when I got back from spring break I had hardly any photos and no set appointments with local companies. By the grace of God I got an appointment with a wind farm to allow us to climb up to the top of a wind mill and get photos from inside the turbine and another appointment with an oil drilling company that allowed us to climb up on the rig and get photos. Then we went with the drilling company to a drilling site and watched them tear down the rig, transport it to a new location and then put it back together. It was pretty amazing to watch!

I am finally done with the project and it feels good. I also had a research study project due this week and I am finally done with that also. So I am pretty happy. It feels like we are getting so close to the end of school. I am more than ready for it to be here.

Other than these things not to much else has been going on. Well it's off to bed for the first time in a long time at a decent hour!

unexpected blessings

Well spring break is over, which is sad. I really enjoyed having the time off. I realized today though that it's always so wonderful to have time off, but it's always so hard when you get back from the break to get back on schedule. The first day back is always the hardest too.

I do have some good news to share though....I am sure you all remember in my last post that I shared the sad news that all the kittens died. Well my sister called around to humane societies to see if anyone had an kittens who needed a mother for nursing. She found a litter of 4 kitties plus another kitty from another litter that needed a mother. So we had fun the last half of the break taking care of little kitties. Our cat, Dandelion, absolutely fell in love with them from the moment she heard their first meow. It was amazing to see how nature works like that. How a mother could so readily take in kittens that were not her own without question.

Here are some photos of the kitties:



We have a tradition of naming our cats after flowers. Don't know how it started, but it did and so we felt like we should name them all after flowers. Unfortunately, we've always had girls so it's been easy and this litter had 4 boys and only one girl. So we had to come up with more manly sounding flower names. We named them Venus Fly Trap (orange striped), Snap Dragon (creamy white), Hosta (runt that's white and brown), and Bachelor Buttons (the larger brown one from the other litter). We named the gray girl Petunia! :) I love that name!

Other than that not too much happened over the last few days. My Uncle Brian and Aunt Amy came into town with their kids to visit. We had fun with them. Our Easter went well too. We just hung out, had an egg hunt, ate a big meal, and then launched potatoes with my dad's potato launchers him and my uncle built. [Those are a story in themselves.]

Anyways...I better get back to some work.

ode' to a dandelion

I am finally home for spring break after spending several days at my grandparents. It feels good to be home. This week is unfortunately going by quickly. I am not ready to go back to Abilene, because I know I have a lot waiting for me there to complete. Ugh...

Today Lexie and I drove my Dad to lunch and then to a mechanic to get his car fixed. Then we came home and I have worked on cleaning my car all afternoon. The combination of rain, driving back, and then a weird mud rain last night my car was nasty! I also needed to clean it out in the inside which always takes forever.

I have some sad news...our kitty who is pregnant is slowly having the kitties, but they are all being born dead. She has had a really really long painful labor and we don't have too much hope left that any of them will be alive. I feel so bad for her because she has been so miserable for the last week or so. We were so excited about having kittens, but it seems like that is not going to happen. I just pray that the mama kitty makes it through this labor.

I don't want to end this post on such a sad note, but there's not much more to say. Hopefully, I will have better news to report next time.

“You cannot forget if you would those golden kisses all over the cheeks of the meadow, queerly called dandelions.”
-Henry Ward Beecher

flying wonders

Today we went to the air show! It was so much fun. We got to see the Thunderbirds perform. They are a group of air force pilots that perform in jet airplanes and make formations in the sky. They were absolutely beautiful. I am not one to think things like airplanes are beautiful, but the things these planes could do were absolutely amazing and they were just beautiful. My grandma and I kept saying that they simply own the sky.

It ended up taking us about 45 minutes just to get into the airport and parked because there were so many people. But once we got out there we had great seats and a great view. It was very fun. After the show was over we walked over to military planes they had on the ground and walked through some of the HUGE cargo planes. Those are amazing! They are so big! It's hard to believe that something like that can get up in the air. After that we headed home because we were all tired and very hungry. We barbecued for dinner and sat outside enjoying the evening. I also made the hat for my great grandma. It is so much fun! It's big and puffy and beautiful! :)

I noticed this evening when we were sitting outside waiting for the food to cook that the tops of my legs were sunburned! Oh well, that's what happens when you go to an air show.

Well it's late again and I am sooo tired from our day in the sun. Oh and in case you are wondering about the pictures, I totally forgot my camera. We were in line at the airport for about 20 minutes when I remembered it and there was no turning back. I was pretty frustrated with myself. Not sure what I was thinking!

Feeling that makes me feel good for the day: The warmth of the sun on your skin on a cool day.

exhale and breathe

I am writing so late because I am finally on spring break and I have nothing to do tomorrow, but relax. It feels so good. It's interesting those moments in life when you all you feel like doing is taking a big breathe and simply going "ahhhh". You realize that it seems like it's been a long time since you last exhaled. Those first days of long breaks, vacations, days off always seem like heaven. You know you have nothing to do for a long time and you can't help but feel good inside.

There are lots of things in life that create good feelings like that. Maybe I should start writing in my notes one of those things each day and see how many things I can come up with that creates those good feelings. I will add them at the end of my blogs.

I am now at my grandparents house and really enjoying getting to spend time with them. My grandma and I hung out all day. We went to visit my great grandma and got sundaes. My great grandma mentioned that she needed a hat for good Friday. I, of course, piped up with the response, "I could make you one!" ha ha ha....so my grandma and I were off to Hobby Lobby to buy supplies. We got a big straw hat with a wide brim, beautiful flowers, some ribbon, and shimmery tulle. It's going to be wonderful! I love doing stuff like this and I haven't gotten to in such a long time!

The we went back home and my grandaddy got home. We all went out to dinner to Red Lobster....which was soooo yummy. After we went to Sam's Club then home again to watch a movie we rented....August Rush. It was a pretty cute movie. I enjoyed it. Tomorrow we are going to an air show to watch the Thunderbirds, som military jets that do tricks, perform. I am pretty excited about that. I am bringing my camera so hopefully I can post some pics on here.

Anyways....I better scoot off to bed. Buona Notte!

Feeling that makes me feel good for the day: The feeling that you know you have a long break ahead of you of pure relaxation.

scrutiny, exuberance, and blue bell ice cream

Today, I thought, was going to be a tough day because I had a portfolio review with a couple of professors. From the others that I had talked to that had gone before me it was a pretty tough meeting. Many came out pretty upset with hurt feelings. I was very scared to go into this meeting. I went in bracing myself and expecting the worst. By the grace of God it ended up being an excellent meeting. I got a lot of good feedback from the professors and they had some encouraging words for me.

Over the last few months I have been discouraged with my photography. I think it is a combination of the stress of my job and the constant desire to do my absolute best. I never allowed myself any room for mistakes....and that's not good. I was getting to the point that when I looked at my portfolio I didn't feel confident. But the meeting today made me feel much better and encouraged me greatly.

Other than that my day was pretty normal. Classes, newspaper, etc. Blake and I went and got some ice cream from the food court on campus. I was so excited because they had pints of Blue Bell Banana Pudding. That is probably my all time favorite ice cream and it is just one of those things in life that make you feel so good inside.

My spring break begins tomorrow and I am soooo happy it has finally arrived. It won't be too long and this school year will be over. It's been a tough year. I am glad to see the end near. At times it's hard to believe I only have one year left, then at other times it still feels so far away. Anyways...it's off to bed I go.

crème de la crème

Flowers make me so happy inside. Something about knowing that I can keep something alive that is so beautiful just makes me feel good. Since this is my first year in my own apartment I had bought a flower pot at the end of last summer. My one flower pot has quickly multiplied into 3 flower pots! So a few weeks ago I decided that I needed to go and buy some new flowers for my pots. I bought some yellow daffodils for the bigger pot and yellow, red, and red/white tulips for the smaller pot. So far the daffodils and yellow and red tulips have been blooming. They are so very pretty. Unfortunately the red/white one hasn't bloomed yet, but I am still waiting patiently for it.

My third pot already had a plant in it that my grandma gave me at the beginning of the fall. During the winter I kept it indoors so it would survive. It wasn't looking too great so this afternoon I trimmed away all the dead stuff and was left with 2 sprigs still alive. So I dug out those sprigs, root and all, and I re-potted them with fresh soil.

I also have 3 small vases that have bulbs in them that will eventually bloom into crocus' (Jeanne d'Arc, Pickwick, and Remembrance). My grandma also bought those for me back in November. I have done everything I can do to make those bloom. I have "forced the bulbs" as it is called by keeping them in a cold temperature. I've kept the water line at the level the box says. FINALLY, yesterday I noticed that on one of them a shoot is springing up.

I couldn't help but think of all of my flowers being such excellent metaphors of Christ's love for us. While I am no gardener and definitely no god, I love my flowers each and every one and I want so badly for all of them to grow into beautiful plants. With the tulips and daffodils there are people that immediately understand God's love and bloom and grow. They reap God's many blessings and have a marvelous life. Then there are those like the indoor plant. They live the early part of their born-again life in full bloom, but after a while they slow down and start dying. Like I did with my plant by bringing it indoors and trying to bring it back to health, God does with those people. He may have to re-pot them and give them fresh soil, and even that may never bring them back, but he still loves them.

Finally with the bulbs in the vases there are those people who never understand God's love. He tries and tries and yet they do not bloom. I did everything that the instructions say and God does everything he can to get to us, and yet they refuse to bloom. Like I am with the one that is now finally blooming, he delights in their final acceptance. He opens his arms wide and says "my child, welcome to your life of abundance, I've been waiting for you."

My flowers are a joy in my life and I love to see their daily blessings. I can't help but think of the beauty of God in his wonderful creation.

**If you put your mouse over the slide show a bar will come up at the bottom of the photos and you can click on the little icon that is the second from the left that looks like a dialogue box. This will make captions come up for each photo.**

changes happening

Well as you can see I have changed both the name of my blogger site and my url. I was not using this blog for what I had intended to use it for. I never felt like I had a lot of info to add about the adoption so I decided to create a blog that is for me to just share my thoughts and experiences on. My mom and sister do a much better job on updating about the adoption than I do!

To begin....
I can't promise that I will post every day, but I want to try harder than I did before. I think it's good to keep an online sort of journal if your experiences so I want to try better. Some days I know will be more eventful than others, but I will still try and post about my day.

Today was a pretty normal day. Went to classes, worked on our student newspaper that I am the chief photographer of and other normal things in my daily routine. I did get to tour the central plant of our campus today in order to take pictures for an energy project that our newspaper staff is working on. We are looking at publishing it on March 28. I am a wee stressed because I am trying desperately to get photos of "energy" things. Such as wind mills, oil rings, solar panels and on-campus energy departments. Let's just say I am more than ready for for this project to be done with.

Next week is spring break and I am going to try and not think about anything that has to do with school or newspaper. I'd really like to go to the beach. Something about the beach just sounds so nice, relaxing and so far away from everything in Abilene!

On Thursday this week I have a "portfolio review" for my photojournalism class and I am quite scared. I have talked to a few others that have gone through it already and they said it was tough. They got a lot of criticisms and very little positive feedback. I did get to go this past Sunday to the historic village of Buffalo Gap, which is only like 20 minutes from here and photograph a historic baseball team that they have. They play almost every weekend and they try to recreate baseball as it was in 1860ish. It was really a lot of fun. I don't always enjoy all of my assignments, but this was a fun one. I am using it as a photo story for me class. I will have to add it as a slide show on here when I am feeling less lazy and more up to it.

Anyways....I better sign off, but I will try my best to be better at posting on this thing. Adieu!