new blog design

I tried out some new papers and stuff and here's my new design! How do you like it?

christmas illustration

Here's my final illustration assignment!

when God speaks

I haven't posted in a while....no excuses....so I'm moving on. :)

So the other day Blake and I were driving back to San Antonio and of course I was bored and needed something to fill my time. So what did I do? I started out asking Blake questions! :) At first it was things like what's your favorite color? favorite song? favorite movie? All things that I knew after almost 6 years of dating. Then I started to ask deeper more meaningful questions like what's your testimony? how is God a part of your life? Things that I knew, but always love to hear again.

Finally I got into questions that I didn't already know the answer to. One question and response that has stuck in my head over the last few weeks since the conversation was.....have you ever heard or experienced God talking to you? Not necessarily audible, but an obvious time where for a moment God opens our human eyes more than what is normal and reveals something about Him to us. Blake being the intelligent person that he is of course gave me an answer that I would have never expected or thought of.

He told me about a book by C.S. Lewis (I think probably Surprised by Joy) in which he talked about the difference between joy and happiness. He said that joy is in those moments when God allows our human eyes to see beyond what we usually can see or understand into the heavenly realm. For a moment we understand God a little more and cannot explain or sometimes even completely understand what we've seen, but we are forever changed. It is these moments when we experience joy. Lewis explains that there is a difference between joy and happiness. While happiness is based on our human emotions and our human existence, joy is based on our relationship with our God and his great love and mercy.

It makes me think of all times that I've heard that following Christ is not always easy and is not always full of happiness. By the grace of God I have lived a blessed life. I could never imagine how those Christians in the world that have hard lives because of their faith could go on. But what I've come to realize is that though their lives are not filled with happiness.....their lives ARE filled with joy. Something so much better that goes beyond our physical life and touches the eternal.

So today open your eyes, prepare your hearts and experience joy. I guess that's why that favorite Christmas song proclaims Christ's birth as our "Joy to the World".

thinking

It's been quite a while since I have posted on here. My life has been some what boring as of lately. Which I am not complaining because boring can be good. That generally means very little stress and not a whole lot to do. I have stayed busy, but not over the top busy like last school year. It's been pretty nice so far! Good start to my senior year.

So I woke up this morning with lots of thoughts going through my mind. You know how there are some mornings you wake up and your mind is blank. You can hardly think about anything and honestly you just think about rolling over and going back to sleep. Well that was not this morning. First I was thinking about some friends who I actually dreamed about. I don't remember what the dream was about, but I do remember they were in it. Of course as I always do when I think about someone intently that I don't always think about I began praying for them.

I continued to think. I thought about the money I have in my bank account (or the lack thereof!), I thought about Blake and his upcoming LSAT (prayed about that for a few minutes as well), I thought about my sweet little sister in China (more prayers), I thought about church this morning and what the message would be about. I thought about my family and when I'd be able to see them again. I thought about my cousins and how if I were still living with them I'd probably hear them playing at the moment (and actually that was unusual because I've been gone for over a month now and hadn't thought about that in a while!).

Anyways...I thought about other small and unimportant things as well. The list could go on and on. Basically the point I am trying to get at is......isn't it unusual when you stop and really think about the things you are thinking about?! I mean we live in a world with billions of people and right out side my window life is happening. Plants are growing, people are living and life moves on. But for about 20-30 minutes I am thinking and living inside my own head by myself, all alone. The Bible says that our sins go beyond our actions and the words that we say, but also the things that we think are sins if they are ungodly. God was a smart one when He made that point. :)

I leave you with this verse:

Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

portion yet again

About a month ago now I wrote a post about the word "portion" and how God is our very portion in the moment that we need Him to be. I added lyrics of an amazing song called "Healer" that says in it's chorus:

I believe you're my healer.
I believe you are all I need.
I believe you're my portion

I later found out that there was a story that went along with that song. The man who wrote it, who's name is Mike Guglielmucci, told the world that he wrote that song after finding out he was dying of cancer. For the last two years he has battled the disease spread his story worldwide. It has touched many people and drawn many to Christ. Even I was moved by the song and became overwhelmed each time I heard it played at church. About a week ago Mike Guglielmucci came out and told everyone that it was all a lie. He was not sick and dying from cancer. As expected the Christian community was devastated. There have been some hard hits in the past few years on the church, but nothing have I ever experienced or seen like this.

At first when I heard I had a mixture of feelings. I was angry, I was sad, I was overcome. It didn't impact me in a way that it did some, but it hurt non the less. I have thought about it a lot over the last few days. Now I have reached a point where I am so very sorry for Mike. What he did was wrong. He has hurt a lot of people. He deceived not only the church, but his own family. I have read stories of Christians who are angry. They remind me so much of the Pharisees during Jesus' time. Those "holy" men who were supposedly the leaders of the Jewish community and represented the Law. They stand back and judge Mike. Without even realizing it they say that they are better than him. They are more "holy" than him because they have not sinned like he has.

Again and again in this situation I am reminded of the story in John 8. The Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultry before Jesus. They tested Jesus and said according to the law she should be stoned to death. They wanted to know what Jesus thought. I have always been amazed at Jesus response. He said,

"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

One by one the men dropped their stones and walked away for none were without sin. Mike needs the church at this time as he never has before. A blog I read recently talked about the popularity of the song. The writer questioned whether we were ever worshipping God or were we simply worshipping the song and it's writer. This entire situation has definitely caused me to re-evaluate my worship to God.

By God's plan we sang "Healer" in church this last Sunday. As we sang the words I could not help but cry out to God in prayer to be not only the church's healer at this time, but also Mr. Guglielmucci's. For at no greater time does Mike need God as his healer, possibly even more than he ever would have needed him to be if he did have cancer. So I rise up and sing:

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in you
I trust in you

I believe
You're my healer
I believe
You are all i need
I believe
You're my portion
I believe
You're more than enough for me
Jesus, you're all i need

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for you
You hold my world in your hands

superhero party

Words need not explain....

first steps

So I don't usually blog about the piece of art that I've chosen for my "Art of the Week", but I just had to talk about this one. This painting is one of my favorites of Van Gogh's. I first saw this painting in a big book full of all his work that I got for Christmas years ago. When I saw it I just absolutely fell in love. I have always loved his art and his depiction of common people doing every day chores. But this one truly tugged at my heart strings.

I think that one of the most precious scenes in the whole world is the sight of a child taking their first steps. In this painting not only is it the precious scene of taking first steps, but the child is taking her first steps into her father's open arms. I hadn't looked at this painting in years, but I felt like God placed it on my heart again this morning. I was thinking about the adoption and all of our plans for our sweet Karleigh Mei. I then went and read my mom's blog and was touched yet again by the entire story. I've heard it multiple times, but it never ceases to amaze me.

In many ways our adoption has been like this painting. My family took our first steps of the adoption into our heavenly father's arms. We trusted that he would catch us if we were to fall and carry us if we couldn't walk anymore. And being the incredible and faithful God that He is, He did! Now here we are with just her picture and a small description of who she is and I feel like we are taking our first steps into God's arms yet again. Though we've taken many first steps before, these first steps are different than any others we've ever walked before. I feel like at times the distance between our area of comfort and God's arms gets longer and wider. But then I am reminded that this is where our faith comes in and we must trust that God would not beckon us to move and walk to Him if he didn't think we could make it.

When the time finally comes to go to China and pick up our baby girl this picture will be painted yet again. Same scene, fresh paint and canvas. This new scene though will be a little different. While on the sending end the picture will be of a Chinese nurse who has taken care of sweet Karleigh Mei for us all these years, the receiving end will be my parent's open arms ready to catch her if she were to fall and encouraging her that she can take those first steps into our lives. And lastly the child painted there will not be a poor peasant like Van Gogh painted, but a daughter of the King that is taking her first steps into the life God has always intended her to have.