similar situations

You know when you feel like the only person in a situation that feels the way you do. I don't know if that last sentence made any sense, but if it did to you then the rest of this blog is for you.

So all year I have kinda felt like I was the only one on staff that really hated their job. Everyone else seemed to love it and be really in to it while I was in the corner hating it all and trying desperately to escape. Until....today. I was talking with another girl and we both realized that we have both hated it for a while. Actually...all year. So in a very odd way it was a HUGE relief.

While it doesn't give us back our year and our lives that we've spent in misery it, it did make looking back on it a little easier and a little less hostile. I realized that your junior year, whether you are in high school or college, is just not a good year. From what I remember about high school senior year is wonderful. So I'm praying that's how next year goes. Summer has become like a very bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Ok so enough of my complaining and blabbering. So I found out I have about $3 in my bank account today. But I get paid tomorrow which doesn't mean a whole lot because I don't get paid much anyways. It is, however, more than 3 big smack-a-roos. This has been the month of big expenses. I wonder at how I spent so much money, but when I look back I never really bought anything I quote "wanted" only things that I needed, like gas and food. You know, the daily essentials. First thing on my list to buy tomorrow....shampoo and soap. Woo-hoo!! What a joy!

Other than that, not a whole lot is going on in my life. So peace.

modeling results

Here's a picture of a drawing that a friend of mine did of Blake and I! I thought she did a great job! :)

yearning for brokenness

You know those days where you just want to pack up everything, stop life and go on a long vacation. Well today is one of those days. It's not been really a very long day, but I am just sick of my daily routine. It's about time to get a new one. Ever look towards the end of a long day or month or semester and you realize that is not really the end? There is still so much more to do. That's about what my semester is like. The never-ending semester.

Anyways....in other news...I went to an Oxford girls get together last night. It was so nice and refreshing just to sit and talk with strong Christian women about life and all that comes with it. We prayed over one another and encouraged one another. We were talking about a friend of one of the girls and all the trouble he is going through in his life. It was more than just the daily struggles. His fiancee, after cheating on him, is now trying to kill herself, he's addicted to drugs and it is getting to the point he doesn't really care to continue his own life. Pretty serious stuff.

At one point when the girl finished her story and it got real quiet and no one knew what to say because of the overwhelming reality of the situation, I heard my friend simply say, "What brokenness." What brokenness is truly present in the world we live in. But brokenness does not only reside in the lives of the unsaved, but the saved just the same.

Worldly brokenness I long to cast aside and brokenness for the love of Christ I yearn to portray.

life of a duck

Only one week left of the semester and I've never been happier. This has been one rough school year. I am just glad that it has an end.

So I have a funny story to tell that I've been meaning to tell for a while and haven't had time. I was sitting by Jacob's Dream, a statue on campus, waiting to take some pictures and a little girl came up eating an ice cream cone. She came and sat down near me. I looked up, but soon continued reading my book. After a few minutes she begins talking to me. She talks about everything from her ice cream to a butterfly flying by. Basically I couldn't get her to be quiet. :) All of a sudden she says the most random and hilarious thing. She says,

"I always wished I was a duck, because they can swim, walk on land AND fly!"

I thought about it and then realized that she is right and that I had never thought about that before! The things you can learn from kids. Seems like a duck is a pretty good animal to be! :)

Anyways...just a random story I thought I'd share.

becoming too comfortable

It's been a long time since I have posted anything. This past week was incredibly busy as will be this coming week. We only have 2 weeks of classes and a week of finals left for this school year. Everything is beginning to wind down and because of that everything gets that much busier. Funny how that works. It always seems that those last few weeks before school is out are so hard that they really make you ready for a break whether you were ready or not before!

Today my pastor gave a really great sermon that seemed to apply to my life as well as anyone else who is busy at this time. It was about being "trained in Godliness". He got it from the verse in I Timothy 4:7 that says,

"Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales: rather, train yourself to be godly."

Our pastor talked about what it meant to train. He said there must be effort, focus, discipline and pain. I especially liked the points he made on the 2 last words: discipline and pain. For discipline he said that is daily choosing the best in the midst of all the good that can be and that it is not when we choose the easy path, but the best path. So often I only see the easy path, because it's, well...easy. But this is not right. We should always aim to choose the best, because in the best is God's will.

For the point of pain he said that we live in a culture that teaches our greatest prize is convenience and comfort. This value, he said, is what is killing us. Pain is more about the idea of discomfort and inconvenience. We've begin to grow too comfortable and quit "training". He used the example of when a person goes to the gym. They can walk on a treadmill and lift weights, but until they push themselves and feel pain they are never going to fully train themselves. We can do all the right stuff like pray, go to church and read our Bible, but until we push ourselves we will never train.

One of his final points he made that I really like was this:

"The problem with mankind is not that we desire too much, but that we are satisfied with too little. God wants us to have it all."

reflection in the mirror

Can you tell who this is? :)

websites to check out

This is a quick post just to let people know about two very cool websites I have discovered recently from friends.

The first is www.threadless.com. It's a website where people can send in designs for t-shirts and if the company chooses your design they print it and sale them and you get a portion of the profits. It's really cool and there are some cool shirts for sale there.

The second is www.tomsshoes.com. This is a website that sales shoes and for every pair that you buy they in return send a pair to a child in Argentina. They are a little pricey, but it's because you are paying for two pairs. Thought it was a really cool idea.

Anyways...just had to share!

peace of God

There are some things in life that never cease to amaze me. While some people find themselves in the situation of a painful grief others find themselves in a situation of overwhelming joy. Finally, there are those who find themselves in a situation of what first seems like pain, but later has the potential for joy. It seems in my life, or in my "world" I see too often this similar story. While I don't take for granted the unbelievable blessings in my life I do wonder at the complexity of God's will for me. It never seems to turn where I think it will, nor does it ever continue in harmony when I think it's about time. It's much like a carnival ride.

Despite it all there is always an all-consuming peace that lingers among the ticking seconds of each event and moment. At one second I may be perfectly content and the next be sad for the unexpected grief of life, but always surrounded in the peace that passes all understanding. I praise God for these moments when it's not too hard to look back, not too hard to stand still and finally not to hard to move on. For move on we must.

While many do not understand or know of what I speak of for this day, you will know soon. Whether you choose to judge, choose to love or choose to simply go about your way, we all will feel the peace of God. For some it is a breeze against our skin others a roar of rushing wind, but it comes....it always comes.

surprisingly refreshing

I went to lunch with my friend Teal yesterday. She is person that is as beautiful inside and out as the color of her name. We went to Oxford together and we have diligently tried this school year to get together at least once a month for lunch. I love our conversations. They are always so good and encouraging. It's a time where we can both spill out everything going on in our lives and seek prayer for one another. It seems like I talk to people every day that are going through exactly what I am going through and that is nice. But sometimes it is nice to talk to someone who is not experiencing the same things and is excited to hear about my life. They also offer fresh ears and eyes for advice.

Teal and I talked yesterday about school, work, future plans, boyfriends (basically just Blake), summer jobs and lots of other stuff. We reflected on the past realizing that just a year ago from now we were in Oxford and traveling the world. I can't hide that we both were longing for old times. :)

We talked about the future, but did not let ourselves become overwhelmed with the unknown. We talked about the present, but did not let ourselves become stressed with things that needed to be done. And finally we talked about the past, but did not let ourselves become comfortable in old ways. There's too much to live for to be stuck in the past.

Towards the end of our conversation Teal and I were talking about the remainder of the semester. Both her and I are tired and ready for the end. We both have responsibilities in classes and jobs that we are ready to be done with. In our goodbyes and encouraging words Teal said something that caught my ear and pricked my heart. She said, "I will pray that the end of your semester is surprisingly refreshing." I realized then that the only way to allow myself to enjoy these last 4 weeks of my junior year is to choose to be surprisingly refreshed by the good things. Now that is a LOT easier said than done, but I will give it my all.

Life can by hard, but it always has the potential to be surprisingly refreshing.

famous in life and death

Charlton Heston passed away Saturday. It's interesting how people come and go in the movie industry, because they strive so hard throughout their life to be recognized and known. Once they die, if they're lucky enough, their death is recognized and then that is the end of that. Heston was 84 and seemed to have lived a pretty good life. I found out that he was closely connected with my university and had come here on several occasions to see our homecoming musicals. He also had given several scholarships for students.

In life we see people rise to fame and become one of the icons of our every day life. Eventually these pass away as well as the fans of them. This is the irony of fame when eventually we all die just the same.

This doesn't belittle the fact at all, however, that we should all strive to be the best that we can be in life. Whether we are a famous actor or simply clerk at a grocery store, we all should make each day's goal to be a pure reflection of the love of Christ. We should choose to have a good day every day. And most of all we should choose to live as if everyday is our last.

riding around in my automobile

Well it's back from the ol' journalism competition and I am exhausted!!! The competition the hanging out was not the tiring part, it was the drive that was so tiring. It was a little over 5 hour drive for us because we went up to Huntsville to visit some friends. I am super happy that we did though.

Good news is that our newspaper won quite a few awards combined, which is exciting because we were competing in Division 1 which includes big schools like UT, A&M and Baylor. The on-site competitions were in my opinion goofy and very staged. I felt like I couldn't truly show my talent and abilities.....but whatever. The best part of the whole trip was seeing old friends and hanging out with college buds.

The bad part of the trip, however, was the price of gas. It is so ridiculously high. I have nearly wiped out my bank account and it's only the beginning of the month....not good. If someone tried to rob my account now they'd probably just give the money back out of pity. :) It'd be nice of them to throw a little extra in while they're at it.

As you can see I don't have any words of wisdom for today. Just pooped out from the trip and glad to be "home". Maybe I will have more to say tomorrow...

there's some things in life money can't buy

Today I got a new Canon 40D camera. Well, I didn't exactly buy it myself, but our photography department bought one for the staff to have and I get to hold onto it for the next couple of days. I sure wish it was mine to keep because it didn't take too long for me to realize....I want one.

I mean I had known that I wanted one for a while, but it wasn't until I truly got to see it, experience it and visualize the results of its power that I realized I needed one. Well is it really need or maybe more like want.

It's funny how those kinds of things are in life. There are things that we have that we are perfectly content with. We don't know that there is the possibility of something that is better out there for us to obtain. We go through life with this "good" thing that we already own just fine, until that moment when we realize there is something better. From then on we are restless until we can obtain that new and better item.

It seems to be like this with Christianity. Before we are saved, many people are what they see as perfectly content with the life they lead. They believe that, that is the only way. So what they've got is good enough. It is not until that moment that they realize there's something much better that they've got to have. Fortunate for them, salvation is as easy as a confession, an acceptance and a belief not over $1000 of debt like a Canon 40D.

There's some things in life that we simply can't have at the snap of a finger or the swipe of a credit card, but praise God salvation is freely given to those who believe. Kinda sounds like the MasterCard commercial "There's some things in life money can't buy, for everything else there's MasterCard."

Of course a free donation of money to buy a Canon 40D is always readily accepted. :)